At a past job, I’d estimate that at least once a week my favorite co-worker would gently place her hand on my shoulder and say, “You just can’t take anything she says personally.” She was the big bad boss, and I had no idea how to make an about-face and get on with my day whenever she offered feedback or even communicated with me about a project I was managing.

But, over time I realized that getting over it and moving on was my only chance of survival in that office. My inner mantra became “It’s not personal.” And every time I began to get rattled because of an email, or constructive criticism, or a backhanded compliment, I’d repeat the three words in my head until a deep calm overtook me.

It turns out that reacting poorly to constructive criticism is something a lot of us do, and when we regularly do it at work, it can be problematic. It’s one thing to fend off the occasional imposter syndrome that affects nearly all of us at one point or another; it can be another altogether to try and do good work when you’re dwelling on something in an unhealthy way.

Who better to offer advice on overcoming this issue than our very own career coaches? Read on for their suggestions for what you can do to stop once and for all taking everything so damn personally.

1. Embrace the Opportunity

When someone provides you with tough feedback, if a project isn’t received with the enthusiasm you expected, or your review didn’t go as planned, you should take the opportunity to get curious and view the hot escort situation as ‘good friction.‘ In fact, you should seek this friction out whenever you can. Feedback, even that which you don’t agree with or didn’t invite, is where growth, development, and breakthroughs happen. Instead of taking something personally, ask yourself what you can learn from the situation.Continue reading→