16 Responses
I actually do concur, We additionally believe that friendships is as strong between guys as women and men. I’ve been many times in america, though We never ever lived here for a long period, and I also believe that relationships between genders are a bit more sexually-oriented. In France, I had as easily boys and girls friends as I grew up, at school, music or in the sport club. Being a grown-up, my closest friend is a person (and I also have always been a female), and though it’s not such a standard thing, it’s not shocking at all.
You can additionally note as you are able to ask someone away and it will never immediately be a romantic date. See a film, have drink, they are the master of things two different people of various genders can effortlessly do as buddies, rather than dating.
This really is needless to say simply my experience, but there is friendships with French males become nearly impossible. The idea that is whole of“ relationship doesn’t appear to occur right here – there’s always some type of subcontext behind it. Of all the French men we understand, i can not actually think about any that have close woman buddies apart from their wife/girlfriend. And any efforts i have meant to it’s the perfect time together with them have already been strictly rebutted by their partner.
I have seen it take place with numerous friends as well – they meet French men and tell them they desire to be buddies since they have a boyfriend or they may be maybe not interested, additionally the guy will state „No problem“, then again constantly invariably eventually ends up wanting to make a move. But that said, Frenchmen whom’ve been abroad (such as for instance your self Frenchman) appear to appreciate this sensation better and be seemingly more capable of those friendships that are non-sexual.
I really do think it could be a cultural huge difference though.
We anglophones are therefore concerned about intimate harassment that male/female friendships have actually nearly been androgonized, whereas in France the functions continue to be more defined/traditional.
Laetitia: precisely. While I experienced numerous feminine buddies in the usa too, becoming buddies using them was „harder“ because I usually had to „give evidence“ that it is all i desired, and extremely usually, they would feel at ease beside me after a few years as nearly 100% of US ladies we’d request a coffee or something like that will automatically think „date“.
Sam: i believe we have had this conversation before, but we nevertheless disagree, but still feel you merely came across the people that are wrong. With no, gender roles are far more defined in america, no relevant concern about this. It really is in the usa perhaps maybe perhaps not in France you have things such as „chick flicks“, it really is in america not in France that dudes „go down because of the males during the recreations club“ and ladies have „girls night“, in France when you are away, you merely head out together with your buddies, and it’s actually really unusual that it is just guys myfreecams down or only girls, it really is more often than not a mixture of things. As well as partners, French partners generally have common hobbies, whilst in many US partners, the person has their hobbies (usually along with other dudes) additionally the woman has hers (usually along with other women culture that is). American more gender defined compared to French one.
I believe this subject is more predicated on the individual you will be (or are trying friendship with), aside from nationality. I experienced plenty of man buddies in the us, gay and that is straight i have currently made a couple of guy friends here also (within my twelve months). I have additionally made few buddies … without the stigma from either celebration. But anyhoo…yeah I believe it’s just who ya satisfy and exactly how you address it.
I do not know…I experienced plenty of male buddies in the usa and I really enjoyed hanging out using them. It really is one thing i definitely here miss over.
And Frenchman, I do not think it really is particular to where we lived before – the thing that is same for Paris too. I have met lots of people through the years, and I also can just only think about two that have right, male buddies (and they are a great deal older). Within my number of buddies, there are many Frenchmen that is gay and few international males, but no straight people. So when i do believe regarding the females that are french knew back in Bretagne, i can not actually think about any that has male buddies either – they just had the boyfriends/husbands of these woman friends, never evertheless they never hung away together.
Something different we thought of – i will be the actual only real feminine in an workplace of males when we began traveling using them for work, my (French female) clients utilized to inquire of me „Doesn’t your spouse head you’re vacationing with them? Think about their spouses? “ From the being astonished by the concern as it was not also a thing that had crossed my head!
Well KSam, so what can we state? You must encircle your self with one kind of individuals „only? “ because you describe exists, but they’re just one kind among many as I said, of course the type of people.
As „Je ne regrette rien“ claims I would be lured to state so it hinges on anyone you might be, perhaps not what your location is.
I do not know, the character concept does not explain it for me – in that case, anyone would not have friends that are male either country or along with other foreigners. Its true though that the countless of books written in regards to the social differences when considering the united states and France also mention that platonic friendships are a great deal rarer in France. I am in no way saying these are generally impossible or never ever occur nonetheless.
And I also do not think we go out with only one types of individual – in reality we frequently speak about just just just how many of us might have never met within our house nations because we traveled in numerous groups. You need to know Frenchman, you read nearly all their blog sites!
I do not suggest character by „the sort of individual you are“, or at the very least not merely personality, but additionally social class, training, history generally speaking, etc.
Additionally, both you as well as the friends you mention have trait that is common no French people has: you are not French. ??
While i usually had feminine friends from numerous nationalities (not merely French and United states), i understand there are a lot of US ladies (and not soleley United states, but that’s this issue right here) that i really could not be buddies with…
It is my experience additionally that in France male-female „platonic“ friendships are extremely regular. I’ve a dozen of feminine friends in France (and much more friends that are male that’s perhaps perhaps not the idea) & most of the inventors my age We know do too. I do not care generally speaking for contrived guys particular date. Either We have a provided interest with individuals and I also’ll enjoy heading out I don’t, gender doesn’t matter much with them, or.
French girls and boys get precisely the exact same training, share the exact same tasks, recreations and games, less „gender“ defined than in United States Of America. It does not signify in France reigns an equality that is idyllic women and men, we have been not even close to it! However it suggests a „complicit?“ (could not find A english equivalent term for that. ) between people i did not find somewhere else in western nations. Ksam, i have possibly a description concerning the problems that you’ve got met with. There was a popular game we prefer to play in France, whoever guidelines are understood and internalized by everyone, we call it „marivaudage“ or „badinage“ and also the English „banter“ does not convert completely the entire concept. It is a game title with terms, wit, gestures, it appears to be like „flirting“ but it is simply a casino game without effects or innuendos. I have seen a lot of misunderstandings that are funny it whenever no-French individuals (ladies) experience it. It describes also why those who travel (as i really do) „seem to comprehend this phenomenon better“ while you composed. Just because we understand it’s not going to be recognized as a game title but like a kind of „boring typical French harassment“!
I do not suggest to constantly discuss the united states as this weblog is especially about France, (guess the particular type of English associated with weblog attracts a big interest that is US but i will be through the US, therefore I will get ahead and take action anyhow.