One feature which had been consistently stated whenever revealing functions of your greatest coming partnership is actually a good “husband” who had been financially stable. Ladies indicated various other opinions on what it believed it meant to end up being economically steady. Some female discussed its partner as just seller into the nearest and dearest although some discussed the partner since the adding to your family cash. More often than once, female stated that they need lovers which you will definitely “permit us.” Ladies just weren’t specific concerning brand of job or career one to their better companion might have, but was in fact clear that employment must provide “enough to shell out its bills or what they need in life.” Another fellow member revealed their greatest spouse a somebody who “…can’t are obligated to pay we currency following you’re using my personal money to pay them straight back; zero you ought to be economically steady, have a good house, a job, a good employment…” Girls and additionally talked about the spouse being separate rather than looking for so you’re able to rely on them to have anything. This estimate grabs these feeling: “I would want them to be successful, such as for instance an individual who could probably end up being independent, style of. They would get up on her one or two legs easily wasn’t as much as.”
Purpose dependent
In even more so you’re able to being financially stable, people need the next spouse who was simply “goal-founded.” Even though they did not render specific information on just what this type of wants will be, lady decided one to their best companion do “must be encouraged to make a move and their existence. They cannot lay on the sofa for the rest of its lives and you may create little. Which is a huge problem.” Several other woman described they in that way, “Easily provides my entire life along with her and you do not, you have to wade, … I simply need anyone who has the existence together with her, that knows what they want, what they’re doing … you just need to get direct right; you have to have an excellent head-on your arms.” Because the several other example, that woman discussed the next spouse during these words: “You gotta provides possible, your gotta now have one thing happening having oneself as if We have some thing happening which have me, I’m not browsing correspond with individuals that’s doing one thing shorter. You actually have to possess things going for oneself you to definitely will in truth build me actually have a conclusion to cam to you.”
Conversation
Girls given innovative and you will expressive comments about their matchmaking values. When considering the chance to explore the expectations and you can wants to possess latest and you can upcoming relationship, lady offered confident depictions from friendship and you may marriage that have the right spouse. This depiction is somewhat compared with far current search which too frequently portrays Ebony lady due to the fact susceptible towards exposure engagement and you can below average habits (Sullivan, Childs, & O’Connell, 2010). Information learned because of these interview in many ways dispels the idea that Ebony females are not aware match dating characteristics (Raiford et al., 2007). Girls within this test discussed its most useful relationship using terms and conditions one to portray self-confident thinking out-of teenage most recent and you will coming relationships.
Ideal Matchmaking Dating from inside the High-school
Similarities and you will differences was indeed each other evident out of Ebony girls‘ narratives in the an ideal matchmaking relationship, today plus in the future. Several layouts emerged off their malfunction of the best relationships through the twelfth grade: (1) temporariness regarding high school relationships, (2) which have somebody just who common similar knowledge and you can career preparations, and you will (3) significance of family during the pinpointing a fantastic relationships. Other themes emerged inside their description of your top upcoming relationship: (1) curiosity about matrimony, (2) financial balances, and (3) desires founded. Also, both in the characterization of one’s most useful relationship during senior high school and also in the long run, woman discussed a desire for ‘top friend‘ qualities such as for instance regard, trust, once funguje and you will sincerity. It is guaranteeing to listen you to adolescent African american women set worth on these qualities and you may definitely look for her or him in their intimate relationship.